Thursday, 10 September 2009

Taper Madness

The fear of germs, infection and dirt becomes the first thing you think of when you wake in the morning closely followed by the other headings in this list but not necessarily in the same order.

Your once lacks-a-daisy approach to dirty running shoes, dirty socks and muddy trails is suddenly replaced by a packet of tissues, alcoholic keyboard wipes and sprays and amazingly toilet seats are put down and your computer mouse now smells of the latest "Kills 99.9% of all known germs" bleach. Family and friends are ordered to not hug or kiss you and keep at arms length at all times, their arms preferably being the length of the Jolly Green Giant.

Whilst the fear of swine flu is still apparent all comestibles containing porcine extracts are banned and especially if the pig sneezed at least once in its lifetime.

You now become an expert in all things meteorological, websites offering 1,3, 5 and 15 day forecasts are added to your favourites and checked every hour, just in case a sudden snow flurry in September is expected or a hint of a force 10 gale is in the offering in southern England. The TV is permanently tuned to the Weather channel and any person who dares speak or make any sound, however minor, during the half hourly updates is grounded for life.

You scan LinkedIn and Friends Reunited to find any past colleagues or school friends who may have suddenly become meteorologists and if so private mail inviting them to meet up for a drink, this is preferably done between checking the forecasts and listening to the television bulletins.

Details of Race
When not trawling the weather sites and listening to weather bulletins or cleaning off the keyboard of your PC with bleach and/or a blow torch you are constantly on the Race website or Runners World race forum.

You become an expert in Excel, particularly the Date & Time functions and how to calculate the average time of a run using the Goal Seek functionality.

In addition to the weather websites you also check the travel updates and know the main arterial routes to the start line and alternative routes if there is an accident, these are checked at least 2 weeks before in between weather forecast checks.

Concentrating becomes very diffic.....oooh look a weather forecast has been updated on the Weather channel...nope better check if the RD has made any updates since 5 minutes ago...

As you sit in that all important project meeting you find your mind wandering, you then notice that you are not writing notes about the meeting, but writing lists of gear you should take.

Your running gear is continually being checked, washed and placed in a pile on the living room coffee table, any family member seen within 4 feet on the gear is ordered to step back....the gear remains untouched.

Cyclical thinking
You wake up, think of race,brush your teeth - think about how you will feel on the day of the race when cleaning your teeth at breakfast - you wonder if you should have jam or marmalade on your toast on the day of the race, you begin to realise that you are thinking about the race a lot. When you run up the steps at work, reaching the top you raise your arms and imagine that you have just crossed the finish line, coffee breaks are your check points.

You go to the loo and then you think of Germs....and go to the top of this list

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